A False Glimmer

Carrie,

I guess I’m done, and we never happened. I’m not one for words but they’re coming now. I don’t believe in fate or destiny or horoscopes, but I can’t say I’m surprised things turned out this way. I always felt there was something kind of pulling me back to darkness. Does that make sense?

But I wasn’t allowed a real life or a real love. That was for normal people. With you, I thought, well, maybe, just maybe. But I know now that was a false glimmer. I’m used to those. They happen all the time in the desert, but this one got to me.

And here’s the thing: This death, this end of me, is exactly what should have happened. I wanted the darkness. I fucking asked for it. It has me now.

So don’t put a star on the wall for me. Don’t say some dumb speech. Just think of me as a light on the headlands, a beacon steering you clear of the rocks.

I loved you. Yours, for always now, Quinn.

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