Ever Tried. Ever Failed.

I had so many dreams of where I wanted to go, who I wanted to be, and what I wanted to do.

You have your own story to tell.

Theater companies I wanted to start with classmates, movies I wanted to be in, directors I wanted to work with, stories I needed to tell.

I packed the life that I knew with socks and a toothbrush into my backpack and I slept on couch, after couch, after couch, after couch at friends apartments in New York until I wore out their rent paying roommates’ welcome.

I didn’t want a “day job” – I was an actor, I was a writer – I had to get a day job. I dusted pianos at a piano store on Ludlow Street for five months. I worked on the property of a Shakespeare Scholar for a year pulling weeds and removing bees nests. I went on unemployment once but not for long, I couldn’t handle the guilt.

Eventually I was able to pay rent for a spot on the floor on the lower East side, but my roommate had a breakdown and disappeared. I helped hang paintings at galleries; paintings that inspire you to think, “I could do that.”

And then, finally, after two years of job and couch surfing, I got a “job”. In application processing. As a data enter-er, at a place called Professional Examination Services. And I stayed for six years – six years.

From the age of twenty-three to twenty-nine; well they loved me there. I was funny. I smoked in the loading docks with the guys from the mail room and we shared how hung over we were. I called in sick almost every Friday because I was out late the night before. I hated that job. And I clung to that job.

Because of that job, I could afford my own place. My dream of running a theater company with my friend and fellow Bennington graduate Ian Bell had died. I had only the one window – I myself could not look out the window, it was quite high. No “acting agent.”

When I was twenty-nine I told myself, “The next acting job I get, no matter what it pays I will from now on, for better or worse, be a working actor.”

But something good happened; I got a low paying theater job in a play called “Imperfect Love,” which led to a film called “Thirteen Moons” with the same writer. Which led to other roles, which led to other roles, and I’ve worked as an actor ever since.

I didn’t know that would happen. At twenty-nine, walking away from data processing, I was terrified. Ten years in a place without heat, six years at a job I was stuck in, maybe I was afraid of change.

Are you?

But this made me very hungry. Literally. I couldn’t be lazy, I couldn’t be. And so at twenty-nine, and at very long last, I was in the company of the actors and writers and directors I had sought at that first year, that first day, after school. I was, I am, by their sides.

Raise the rest of your life to meet you. Don’t search for defining moments because they will never come. The moments that define you have already happened, and they will already happen again. And it passes so quickly – so please, bring eachother along with you.

You, you just get a bit derailed. But soon something starts to happen, trust me, a rhythm sets in. Just try not to wait until like me, you’re twenty-nine before you find it. And if you are thats fine too. Some of us never find it. But you will, I promise you, you are already here. You will find your rhythm or continue the one you have already found.

Don’t wait until they tell you, you are ready. Get in there. Sing.

The world might say you aren’t allowed to yet. I waited a long time out in the world before I gave myself permission to fail. Please, don’t even bother asking. Don’t bother telling the world you are ready. Show it. Do it.

What did Beckett say?

Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail Again. Fail Better.

We burn very brightly, please don’t ever stop. The world is yours. Treat everyone kindly, and light up the night.

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— Transcript made from a video (Are You Scared of Change) made by Mulligan Brothers

 

 

 

Uncomfortable vs Exhaustion

So you want to be successful huh? Well there’s one thing in this world that has the ability to change our whole life in an instant. You know what it is? Its action. So first step, you just need to make a decision.

Ask yourself this, a year from now, five years from now, what are you going to wish you did today? The secret to getting ahead in this world is first getting started. You can’t let fear stand in the way of your dreams. You cannot think “Oh what if this doesn’t work?” If you believe enough in the process and the end result, success is going to come to you. It will. You just got to be willing to see it through to the end. But first you just got to jump in the deep end man; and once something goes into motion it stays in motion. The process itself feeds the fire. You can’t be trapped by fear. Limits like fears, they’re illusions. Disregard them. If you’re passionate about it and you go full throttle, there is no doubt: you are going to be good at it.

Because what makes someone good at something? Its dedication, hard work, and its doing it with the proper direction and methodology. So if you plug away you are going to be good.

But what makes someone a professional at something? Its the concept of taking that little idea, that little decision you make, and executing to take it as far as your imagination holds. Dedicating every breath in your body to that single cause. Seeing the grand picture at the end of the road to be the absolute best. And not settling for any reason. Its not talent, its not innate ability, it simply comes down to how hungry you are.

How hungry are you to improve? How big is your appetite for success? What are you willing to do to reach your dreams?

The professionals, the best at their craft, they don’t care about the naysayers. They don’t care about the fun they are foregoing. They don’t take days off. They are one hundred percent set in their ways in perfecting their craft. Because its all for a much larger purpose than any semblance of happiness that immediate gratification provides. Reaching your goal? Well thats just pure bliss.

The higher the expectations, the larger the goal? Well the feeling just magnifies. So whats the difference between you and them? The professionals, they are the ones who are willing to knock on the doors of complete exhaustion every single day. Now let me define exhaustion for you.

Exhaustion is at that very point where its just so damn painful that you just can’t push anymore. That it hurts so bad that you cannot even think straight. Its in reaching that point when deep down, you know, that you did absolutely everything in your power. That there wasn’t one more thing you  could have done. So whats the difference between them and you?

What are you doing at this present moment in time? Ask yourself this: Are you moving closer towards your goals, or are you moving further away from them? Are you knocking on those doors of exhaustion, or are you just comfortable? You see, being uncomfortable is not exhaustion. Being uncomfortable is your mind quitting before your body. Being uncomfortable is just saying no to trying again. Achieving greatness happens when you are willing to do something that will kill you just to make you better.

You see, its easier to buy the ticket to see the game then it is to be the one to prepare for it. Its easier to hang out with your friends then it is to hang with the stairs for an hour. Its easier to sleep in then it is to wake up to a hundred sprints. Its easier to go to a party then it is to go ass to the grass in squats. Its easier to watch athletes from the couch then it is to be the one hoisting the trophy.

But its also a lot easier to look back on your life and know you gave it your all then it is to live with regrets. Not living up to your potential… Well that weighs on your shoulders for a life time.

No one said that being successful was going to be easy. But I will tell you one thing, it sure as hell is worth it. You are your own maker in your world, and there is no such thing as failure. You just got to tell it, “No. Not this time. Not with me.” I’m going to try again, and again, and again, and I’m going to look failure straight in thew face and I’m going to tell it that I am willing to go through all of the struggles to reach my dreams. Because without struggle there is never going to be any progress. Its all in how bad you want it.

How big is your appetite for success? Do you just want a bite, or are you starving out there for it?

Stay empty. Stay driven. Stay hungry.

–Jaret Grossman–

 

Greatness has a Cost.

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You asked for my hustle, I gave you my heart – because it came with so much more.

It’s the ultimate sacrifice. Greatness has a cost.

It reschedules your plans for you, it puts your family and friends on hold, it makes you feel misunderstood, and it will put you in some deep dark holes.

Greatness demands everything from you.

Your mind, your body, your spirit and your soul.

So what do you do when you shoot four air balls in a playoff game, what do you do?

Do you sulk? Do you weep?

When you disappointed all of your teammates, when you let down all of the fans, do you ask for sympathy? Do you ask why me?

When they blast the coach for keeping you in the game, do you blame yourself? When they’ve drawn up their own conclusions about how your career is going to end, do you wish you could go back in time and make a different decision?

Or do you get off of the plane and go straight to Palace Aids High and get the janitor to open up the gym and lock yourself in there until the sun comes up?

And you go shoot, and you drill, and you relive that moment and change the outcome over and over again.

Decisions shape our destiny, and obsession can be beautiful.

What separated me is not a gift; it was a hunger.

A hunger to hunt when others would eat. A hunger to hone in when others thought they perfected.

They had a crossover, they had a fade-away, they all wanted rings, but they also had obligations. They weren’t willing to cut it all off.

See, its not just about going to the court, shooting, dribbling, practicing the same move again and again, no no.

Lack of skill is from a lack of mind – on and off the court.

From a little boy sitting on the ball in the park to a grizzled veteran on his last legs, its been a mission from day one.

To impart what I know, so you can better understand yourself. I’m here because the game needed me as much as I needed it.

The game was my comfort; a platform to grow and teach others the same.

It was where I learned about the terrors and joys of life.

Of ice baths and buzzer beaters, of struggle and of gold – and everything in between.

It was where I transformed the darkness to come closer to the light.

And it always brought a new challenge; a flaw that needed to be healed. And the game would send the medicine directly my way.

And you will have to make that choice for yourself. Whether that treatment would be worth it or not for you.

But greatness can not come without that cost.

How do you press enough without pressing too hard? How do you go far enough if you don’t go too far?

How do you get eleven others to begin their relentless pursuit to duplicate yourself?

Not in terms of skill, but in terms of competitive spirit.

To instill the intensity, to impart that DNA so they can be champions on the court and men off of it.

How do you prove to the world who you really are – to honestly express yourself?

The media will paint a story, the fans and critics will create their own, but no one’s expectations-no one’s-could live up to my own.

My love to become more, and to give more – I did everything for you.

Because that’s what you do when someone make’s you feel as alive as you’ve made me feel.

— Jaret Grossman —

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Obsessed With Improvement

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Listen to me very closely – I need you to upgrade your values. Somebody asked me about two months ago, he said “ET, if there is one mistake you made, whats the one mistake you made?” I said “I’m going to be honest with you, my values aren’t in alignment with my dreams.” He said “ET what do you mean by that?” I said “I’m going to tell you a story:”

I’ve got a good friend of mine, he came to me and said “Eric, my marriage is not where my marriage needs to be, I need to make some adjustments. I see you and your wife, I see how much time you spend with your wife, how much time you spend with your children, and I just – I want that. You buy your wife roses regularly, you always taking her out to eat… Like E I am watching you, you spoil her, ET what can I do?” And so I told him what to do and guess what he started doing guys? He started doing the exact same thing I started doing, and he said “Eric its not working. I’m doing exactly what you’re doing but its not working,” he said “why isn’t it working?” I said “You know why its not working? Because your values and your dreams — You say you want a better marriage, but I told you, you need to iron your wife’s clothes.” And you know what he told me? “I know Eric, you told me to iron, you told me to wash, you told me to cook, but where I come from when I do that, I feel like a punk.” And I said “And that’s why you’re having a hard time doing it.”

Because your value system says a man is not supposed to iron, a man is not supposed to cook, a man is not supposed to wash dishes; that’s what your value system saying. So you’re doing one thing, but you’re going against your own value system. The reason why I’m having such an easy time washing clothes and cooking and ironing-you know why-is because nothing is as important to me as my marriage. And I would rather be happy, I would rather be happy, than to say “I aint no punk.” Make me a punk, I want to be a punk! A happy punk. For real though, a friend of mine came to my house and I didn’t have a mop so I was on the ground and I was mopping the floor with a towel and he said “ET, the hiphoppreacher, you are on the ground and you’re mopping?” And I said “Yeah.”  He said “Your wife’s got you whipped.” I said “You didn’t know!? You just found that out?  I’ve been doing a terrible job I’m sorry. I am whipped.” And after twenty-three years you should be, and you’re if not its a problem.

So listen to me, there are those of you saying “I want to be a millionaire! I want to be the best in this company!” right? But your value system says you believe in sleep more than you believe in grinding. Your value system says you are a consumer and not a producer, that you are spending more money than you are making. Why? Because you’re a consumer – but you’re reading all the books and saying everything the the books are saying – but those books are not in alignment with your values. And if you are going to go to the next level your values are going to have to change.

That’s what happened for Eric Thomas, my values about learning changed. I realized that information changes situations and so I’d rather buy a book than buy a house. Because if I buy a book I can buy several homes, but if I buy a home and I don’t have the right informa– Guys for real, ok I’m going to leave you with this, this is crazy. Can I be honest with you guys? You could burn my house down and it wouldn’t bother me. Well how do I know? I had a home that a tornado tore down in Alabama, it didn’t bother me. Why? Because we have the blueprint; and they can rebuild it. You can take all my money out the bank, it might hit me-oooh-but if I tell you my line up of speaking, and our audio book, what we’re making every month we’ll be alright, I can make more money. But if you take the knowledge out of my head and take the experiences that I have, I am broke, I am nothing. So now I don’t just read because I see other people reading and I want to mimic what they’re doing; I really believe in reading now. And so all I do when I have time is read.

Last one: You’ve got to be obsessed with improvement guys. Last one, come on – come on! This one is so important because some of the greatest minds are going to be in front of you today. Some people in this room who are not just talking it, they’ve lived it.But here is the problem – the problem with most people is that you’re not obsessed with improvement. You’re obsessed with making money, you are obsessed with taking your business to the next level… And can I be honest with you guys? When you become obsessed with improvement — I will spend more time learning in Australia then I will speaking. I am going to say it again because you missed it: I will spend more time sitting under people, I will spend more time with Glenn, I will spend more time with Aaron, I will spend more time learning than I will speaking in this country! I will walk away with stuff I never heard before, books I’ve never read before, audios I’ve never seen before, going to conferences that I’ve never gone, hanging out with people that I’ve never hung out with before.

This is nothing guys, this is just a dessert. Me speaking is just a dessert. This is just the beginning – I came to Australia to learn. I came to Australia to get an upgrade. When I go back my wife will notice a difference, my kids will know a difference — why? I’m obsessed with improvement! Every day I am getting better! There are those of you with phones and every new phone that comes out, you get it. Every upgrade you get it, every piece of software you get it. You are upgrading your technology and you’ve not upgraded yourself! You’ve got the same operating system you’ve had since 1995 – you don’t think any different, you don’t speak any different, you are the exact same person you were in 2010.

And I challenge you, the final one, I challenge you, the final one I challenge you, we’ve got five seconds… four seconds I challenge you… Be Obsessed With Improvement.Be Obsessed With Improvement! BE OBSESSED WITH IMPROVEMENT!

– Eric Thomas –

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Be Successful Before You Can Be Successful

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You have to be successful before you can ever be successful. Some of you caught me, some of you didn’t. You have to be successful from within first, before you can ever be successful in terms of the public eye. You can never make a lot of money until your habits are there that dictate you deserve a lot of money. You can never be really ripped until your habits are there that you deserve to be really ripped. It’s the most universal law in physics; every action has an opposite and equal reaction.

So you’re expecting a reaction, but what’s the action? What’s the driving force that is going to produce the result that you want? You have to give with your energy, your effort, your sweat equity. Whatever your material that you posses, you need to leave it out in the environment, create a beneficial foot print in some way shape or form, if you are ever going to receive something.

Michael Jordan used to say that he didn’t compete with other people on the basketball court. If he did he would have never been the person that he eventually became. He used to say that the standard that he set for himself was such a ridiculous standard that no one could ever live up to it. That his work ethic was just in this direction of competing with what he was capable of. Not the today version. Not the yesterday version. Not the tomorrow version. But what he was capable of!

And what you practice during your private time, you will be rewarded for in the public eye. You are capable of so much more than you could ever imagine. Your capabilities and your standards need to be raised in terms of what you are producing today, what you are going to produce tomorrow. That you are going to say to yourself:

I am going to do more in a half hour, I am going to commit more to myself than most people commit during eight hours of work, that I’ll get more done in that time. And then I am going to work ten hours with that pace. And then when I get home I am going to walk the dog – because I have energy that just comes to me, I am capable of that. Then I am going to wash the dishes, then I am going to make my bed, clean my room. Then I am going to read, then I am going to go back to the gym, then every single meal is going to be right. And when I am in the gym, I’m not going to stop when the first sign of lactic acid comes in and I get that fatigue – because that’s a limitation of what I am capable of. That ten reps? I’m not going to set that limitation, I am going to start counting when it hurts. And I am not going to stop until I literally cannot do it anymore.

You need to raise the standard of what you think is acceptable and unacceptable of yourself. What car do you want to drive? Do you want the best or are you ok with mediocre? How much money do you want to make? Do you want to have a really fat cushion, or are you ok just getting by? Are you ok with being fifteen percent body fat? Or do you say to yourself, ‘there is not going to be a day that goes by that I don’t look at my abs – and I need to improve every single day?’

That’s a standard. And you’re capable of something that you can not even fathom – that you can’t imagine. But you need to be successful on the inside – with your habits, with your rituals, with your routine. And give your energy throughout every single opportunity that you’re presented throughout all twenty-four hours. That you are not going to say that ‘I can’t do this.” Because that’s a limitation of what you’re capable of. You’re not going to say that ‘I am tired, that I need to rest,’ but you’re going to say ‘I am going to do this. And I am going to do it to the best of my ability and I am going to do it until I can’t do it anymore. And then I am going to gain the muscle so that tomorrow it is going to be easier to do it, it’s not going to be harder.’

Compete with what you are capable of. Not the people who you surround yourself by. Not with who you were yesterday. Not with who you are today. But with what you are capable of. And then it is just a matter of time before you are going to be a legend.

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Transcript created from a video by: MuscleProdigyTV

Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLYr_uV9c_o

Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGxXDtRBJfDuCDv392x28Dw

Focus

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I am a living witness that if you’re brave enough to dream it, it can happen. You’ve got to be determined that no matter what it takes you’re not going to stop, you’re not going to quit, you’re not going to give up until you make your dream become a reality. When I leave this place it’s to help you come that much closer to making your dream become a reality.

2013 was the Why. So what happens is, as you grow, and as you develop, and as you improve yourself these new concepts start to come. And so the why had always been a part of my life, but I was able to tap into – 2013, I was able to tap into that why in a way I never tapped into that why before.

Are you excited? I’m going to be a millionaire! I’m going to change the world! I’m going to do this for this person, I’m going to buy this for my mom; my children, I am going to put them through school! You got all of these great dreams… and then you get up in the morning and life punches you in the face.

ET, just like you, I get punched in the face… Now you don’t always know about it, I don’t always talk about it because I don’t want to discourage you. But I have had multiple aunts, at least two or three aunts die of cancer in the last four or five years – we all get knocked out! Life hasn’t been a crystal stair; I’ve had my haters, I’ve had people who’ve come against me, who try to sabotage me.

I’m like the lion, I’m not the gazelle – I don’t need something external to motivate me. I find something within! And you got to do me a favor like, you can’t give up. You can’t give in. Listen to me; if it was easy everyone would do it. And if life’s got you backed up I need you to do what Buster Douglas did; Buster Douglas started fighting back. He said ‘I know you knocked out thirty other people before me but I will not the thirty-first.’ And finally they got to that round… where Buster Douglas knocked Mike Tyson out. And the world was shocked! Goliath has been knocked down, what happened!? And they went to Buster Douglas and they asked Buster Douglas simply like, what happened? And Buster Douglas said, ‘Listen to me – I’m just going to be honest with you guys. Here was the challenge, the challenge was, it’s real simple… before my mother died she told the whole world I was going to beat Mike Tyson. And two days before the fight my mother died.’

Buster Douglas had a decision to make; when his mother died he could die with his mother, or he made a decision, I can wake up, and I can live for mom! And he knocked Mike Tyson out simply because his why was greater than that punch.

Find that reason to wake up every day and go get it. Everybody’s got a dream, everybody’s got a goal. But when you write your why down, what your why does for you is says: You can’t quit! You can’t give up! You can’t stop! If there’s no money you make up something – you go print it. If nobody’s giving you an opportunity you create it. But what I can’t do is I can’t let me son down. I can’t let my wife down. I can’t let my parents down. I can’t let my city down. And for you your problem is your just focusing on your dreams and your goals; and you’re not focusing on why. Why? Why do you want this? Why do you get up in the morning?

Somebody said, ‘ET, why do you get up at three o’clock?’ Why not? If all I have to do is wake up at three o’clock in the morning and my family can live like they want to live, and I can change the world… three o’clock? Have you lost your mind? I will get up at three every day. Why? Because my why is greater than my sleep.

What makes a person average is their focus. Like an average person is focusing on getting paid – that’s why they’re average. A person who’s good, he’s focusing on, I want to make my boss happy. A person who’s great, his focus is what need can I meet? His focus is different – same human being but his focus is entirely different. Your concentration is supposed to change, and so what you’re focusing on throughout the course of the day, it has to change. What you’re looking at, what you’re reading, what you’re watching, the conversations you have… you must now be focused on your why, you must be focused on your dreams, and you must be focused on your goals.

When you’re great you don’t focus on a week. When you are great you don’t focus on a month. When you are great you don’t focus on a year. You concentrate on the twenty four hours that’s in front of you and you nail it!

 ET 2

~Eric Thomas~

Desire: By Mateusz M; featuring Eric Thomas, Les Brown, and Tom Hardy

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You heard me tell the story with the lion and the gazelle; you’re still stuck, you’re a gazelle. You are a gazelle – you need something to motivate you. What happens to the gazelle when the lion aint chasing him? What happens is nothing. He stops running; why? Because he always needs something external to motivate him.

There are a lot of people, you’re not successful in life not because you aint got talent, not because you aint got skills, but your character aint right. And I told you this before, that if you’re not careful, your talent will take you places that your character can’t keep you. So what’s your motive? The reason why you can’t get up at four o’clock in the morning, the reason why when I say ‘get up at six,’ you’re looking at me like I’m crazy, it’s because you don’t have that thing that’s driving you, that’s pushing you to say no to the alarm clock and wake up; no to the snooze button.  When you get that extra assignment, that extra lot, the reason you can’t do it is because you don’t have the right motive that’s pushing the action. What’s your why?

Somebody came up to me and said, ‘ET man I’m tired. I put in the work ET I’m not seeing the results. I did what you told me to; I read the book you told me to read, I put in the hours you told me to put in – E I’m doing it and I’m not seeing anything.’ Listen to me closely, why do you do what you do? And that’s so important. It’s not enough just to be a doctor; you’ve got doctors who got terrible bedside manners, terrible. You got lawyers who are skilled but arrogant – we’re talking about character right now. What’s your motive? What moves you? What drives you? And whatever it is-sports, life, business, whatever it is; health-listen to me very closely, you’ve got to change that mindset.

Even in your action, while your action is good you have to ask what drives it? What guides it? What moves it? What’s the spirit behind it? What’s the reason behind it? What’s the purpose behind it? When you want to succeed as bad as you want to breath, when you aint got nothing left in your tank, you’ve got to think about the people in your life that you’re doing this for. And then if you could think about them, you could go one more mile. You could go one more day at work. You can find a scholarship. Listen to me, when you’re doing it for someone else, when you’re like that lion… If I don’t grind they don’t eat!

This is it, I can’t – I wish I could back off but its fourth quarter. I wish I could tell you something else. I wish I could tell you, ‘You tired? Go take a break.’ I wish I could tell you, ‘You tired? Rest for a year.’ I wish I could tell you that it’s going to get easier – I wish I could tell you it’s going to get easier! I wish I could tell you that if you just keep going it’s going to get lighter, the weight is going to get lighter. I wish I could tell you that, but that’s not the truth.

The truth is, you got to find something within. You’ve got to find something within! And that’s got to push you! And that’s got to elevate you! And that’s got to drive you! And that’s got to move you! And when you find out what your why is – and your why’s got to be deeper than you – when you find your why, you don’t hit snooze no more. When you find your why, you find a way to make it happen.

It’s time for you to look within yourself and decide: that I’m in charge of my destiny, I’m in charge here. Time to face yourself and talk to yourself in the mirror. And I’m not going to allow anyone to turn me around, I am determined that I am going to make it. The time for just wishing is passed – the time for doing, that’s the time right now. Time for acting on your dream… find out what it is you want and go after it as if your life depends on it. We can decide to take charge of our own destiny; begin to truly live our dream.

Listen to me closely, when you get to the point where enough is enough, when you get to the point where it hurt real bad, when you get to the point you can’t take it no more, when you get to that point – I’m telling you… I can’t explain it to you but doors start opening, opportunities start happening. But when you cannot do is you cannot quit during the process, you cannot give up because it aint what you see. You cannot give up.

Champions keep going when they don’t have anything left in their tank. That’s the difference between the greats, that’s what separates them. When they don’t have no more, when it’s over, when they’re tired, when they’re frustrated, when they’re ready to give up, when they’ve spent their last dime, that’s when they get started! Are you hearing me? It’s when you have nothing left; it’s when you’ve depleted all your money, when all your energy is gone, when you have nothing left, that’s when it’s show time. When you find a way out of no way, when you find breath that you do not have, when you find energy that did not exist, when you want this thing as bad as you want to breathe –

So I ask you … What do you intend to do now?

 

 

Speakers:

Eric Thomas

Les Brown

Tom Hardy

Transcript created from a video made by Mateusz M:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCnJ-KJLPlRw90rGs_6XfmmQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMm6tDavSXg

Eric thomas 2 Les-Brown tom-hardy__140404055255